Rethinking Work-Life Balance In a Post-Pandemic World
Work-Life Balance Is Not a Myth But It takes Work!
“My life is my work and so I have a perfect work-life balance,” said the Chairman & CEO of our company. This was a response to a question from a young intern who wanted to know how the CEO managed his work-life balance. The CEO gave a tongue-in-cheek answer, but the reaction was anything but funny. The internal company social media went wild and the young folks were all abuzz that the CEO doesn’t understand work-life balance.
I reached out to our Senior VP of HR, and his explanation was: in a company as large as ours (over 140,000 employees at that time) there is only one CEO. So, if one aspires to be a CEO, one has to make some sacrifices, and even then, one may not make it all the way to becoming a CEO. Interesting perspective, but not one that the new generation of employees wanted to hear.
Over the years, I have been asked the work-life balance question many times. My answer is that there is no one answer that fits everyone. As usual, it depends…!
What is the definition of work-life balance? As per the Cambridge dictionary: it is “the amount of time that you spend doing your job compared with the amount of time you spend with your family and doing the things you enjoy.” Realistically, there are roughly 14 productive hours in a day after accounting for time to sleep, do essential chores etc. That is 98 hours in a week. Let’s take 10 hours for five days for work/lunch/commute. That adds up to 50 hours which leaves us 48 hours for family and personal time. So, theoretically, it is very possible to find the balance.
However, it is easier said than done! When our son was 12, it was a wake-up call when I discovered that his favorite song was Cat’s in the Cradle by Harry Chapin. It is a story about a father who doesn’t have time for his young son, who wants to be just like his father … and then in later years, when the son grows up he doesn’t have time for the father … and the father says, “My son has become just like me.” I adjusted my work schedule to ensure that I was there for him — and it was absolutely the right thing to do for now he is a good friend!
One of the worst things that happened for work-life balance is the invention of computers. Before computers — and smart phones — only a few executives took files home for the weekend. Now everyone is on call 24 x 7 x 365! The desire to respond to an email or work on a project, whether in the evening or the weekend, or even while on vacation, skews the balance. While working, I discovered that when I sent a message out over the weekend, my direct reports felt that they had to respond immediately. So, I started saving my messages and sent them from work on Monday morning. As I told my staff, there are plenty of times when we have to work through the weekends, but let’s not make that a routine.
Sometimes larger events create shifts in the balance. Covid forced many companies to allow employees — with the exception of essential workers — to work from home. They had no choice. One can make an argument both ways as to whether this was good or bad for work-life balance, but, I suspect that the productivity improved. Many young couples were able to schedule their Zoom calls while prepping for dinner. I regularly see my neighbor jogging up the hill with her infant child in the stroller and a dog in tow — while discussing work on her Air-pods! That is her way of finding work-life balance.
The resistance to going back full time to an office shows that employees are happier working from home. The Pew Research Center chart shows that 64% find it easier to balance work and personal life while working from home.
So, how does one find work-life balance?
In 1997, many of us transferred at the same time to our corporate headquarters near Washington DC. We all used the same corporate recommended realtor. She took a group of the executives’ spouses out to lunch. That evening, my wife couldn’t wait to tell me that in the group of women, there was a man who introduced himself as the house-husband of a vice president, which was an uncommon title back then (and never really stuck). He and his wife Vanessa* had three children, and given the long hours that Vanessa put in at work, she wasn’t able to help take the kids to school, to games, run the house etc., etc. Rather than hire someone to help, they decided that they were going to live on her one salary. For the next sixteen years they relocated five times so that Vanessa could get the experience that she needed to — with luck — someday be the CEO. They made a conscious decision that their work-life balance was not as an individual but as a couple. Similar decisions have been made by many couples over the decades, whether they choose a house-wife or a house-husband.
Work-life balance can be hard if you are ambitious. My advice — there will be times in your life when work is more important than family, but find times when family is equally, if not more, important. Many people are happy working 40 hours a week and not bringing any tension, stress or work home — I envy them! One must take the time to figure out what is important — and when. I tell folks to sit down on their birthday — or New Year’s Day — and consciously think about identifying what is important for them in the coming year. Spouse’s job, elder parent’s needs, time with kids, or the next step in their career ladder? Once you identify what is important in the coming year, the decision to go 60–40 or 30–70 becomes easier. Honestly, it will hardly ever be 50–50!
A conscious decision may not find you work-life balance, but it should help you feel less guilty.
Jennifer Lopez, 52, recently wrote On the JLo: “Now that I’m getting married, it’s about my family first and foremost,” Lopez continued. “It’s about having enough time to be the woman, the mother, the partner and the person that I need to be for the important people in my life. It must be a very special project if it’s going to take time away from my family.”
It is never too late to decide how and when to find work-life balance!
*Name changed for privacy.
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S. K. Gupta is a former senior executive of a Fortune 50 corporation. He enjoys researching and writing about the not-so-obvious things in life. Feedback welcome. sk.gupta.us at gmail dot com.
